It's soooo PHÓ-KING good!

Jackets are on, mittens are snug, and women are telling the world "the turkey is done", even through the most heavy of cable-knit sweaters.

It's winter time people!

...which can mean only one thing...

It's also Phó time!

Take off your rings and prepare to swell your ass off (due to the high contents of sodium in this delicious treat). Nothing tastes better than a scolding hot bowl of whatever-the-fuck PHÓ is, during a chilly day. I contemplated researching what made up this brothy soup, but I'm not sure I want to know. I tend to enjoy this delicious meal at places that look like they are harboring Vietnamese fugitives in the basement, and receive low grades on their health inspection reviews. As my grandfathers says "If it doesn't look clean, drink more...the booze will kill the bacteria"; A motto I religiously live by.

First and for most, the best reason to enjoy Phó is the price. You can't beat a meal that leaves you feeling warm, bloated, and swollen for under $8.00. You better believe I ALWAYS offer to pay for dinner when it's Phó night. Even with a 250 pound boyfriend, I can almost always leave the restaurant paying less than $20 for the both of us...plus, it gets me out of paying for the next meal, which I almost always suggest Kelly's or some other fine-dining establishment on my significant other's dime. Classy, I know.

Upsides to eating Phó:
The price.
The taste.
It comes out almost immediately after you order.
It combines a light broth soup with thin slices of meat on top of tasty noodles.
You can add SHIT-LOADS of Sriracha to it.

*Side note: anything that makes my mouth feel as though it's bleeding and possibly inducing a stroke is perfection in my book.

Downside to eating Phó:
You slide into severe depression and or/ a 2 hour coma after consuming it.
You convince yourself you are 3 months pregnant...yes, this applies to men also.
The restaurants are somewhat shady.


Overall, if you are a stuck-up person who isn't willing to rub elbows with non-English speaking patrons, this probably isn't going to be your 'thing'; for everyone else, Phó is a delicious soupy-treat that can be enjoyed at any time!

My recommendations:

#1: PHÓ AMERICA
Yes, this place just recently had a shooting right next to the restaurant, but despite its terrible location, it's extremely clean and has semi-secured parking. You will almost always get a waiter/waitress that doesn't speak a lick of English and you will wonder for the next 10 minutes if they got your order right. I like a little mystery to my dining experience, so I appreciate this!

Phó America (Pacific Ave) 

#2: PHÓ HÔNG PHÁT

Although they just did an "overhaul" on their decor, you will still feel as though you are stepping into an illegal operation that involves animal trafficking. Setting this gut-feeling aside, their Phó is one of the best I've ever had. Downside, they are only open for lunch and closed on Wednesdays. Poo! 

Phó Hông Phát (Anaheim Ave)

#3: NUMBER NINE

As long as you can muster up the courage to deal with mustaches, fixed gears, and lame tattoos, you will love the open and inviting feel of Number Nine. The best thing about this place is that it's close to my house and you won't get mugged when walking to your car. Downside to this place, the broth isn't authentic tasting and overhearing the conversations of "organic" and "Prius'" by it's hippy customers gets really old! 

Number Nine (4th Street) 

Bloody up my Mary damn it!

As a wino/beer lover/cocktail goddess/foodie...I fully appreciate a beverage that combines my love for food with a bit o' alcohol. The Bloody Mary in my opinion is what my friends and I call "a meal in a glass". The thickness and complex flavors of the tomato juice combined with the salty nature of the garnishes allows for a full bodied drink that leaves you full and drunk. What could be better?

My parents (the ultimate winos) are stuck on their fermented grape beverages, and will rarely stray from  the vino. To get my Sicilian mother to put down the wine and try a different category of beverages is like hiding cookies from my boyfriend Jim...its nearly impossible.

The last trip we took to Vegas, not only did I spend my inheritance on gambling and strippers, I also spent my rent money on the wonderful and insanely expensive eateries that only Las Vegas has to offer. Emeril's Table 10, Wolfgang Puck's Cut, and Morels were just a few of the restaurants we fancied while staying at the Venetian.

I digress...

Anywho, my mother the wine stickler, was open to trying a Bloody Mary one morning at Morels French cuisine. Just as I was hoping I hadn't made a bad suggestion, I saw that our beverages were going to cost $22 a piece. SWEET JESUS AND MOTHER OF GOD...these Bloody Mary's better leave me feeling more satisfied than an Asian masseuse! Sure enough, a cart rolls up with an elaborate spread of garnishments, a shaker, giant glasses with an onion, pickle, stuffed olive, and a wedge of celery stacked on it.

Our waitress "Ben" (name changed to protect the innocent) looked as though he had a rough "go" in his earlier years and had the look of a former crack user. I was a bit curious of how "Ben" got a job working in a prestigious french restaurant in one of the nicest hotels on the strip...until I tasted his bloody Mary. Holy hell, this was the best bloody Mary I had ever tasted. The tomatoes were roasted and squeezed earlier that morning to make the juice for the beverage; he then added fresh garlic, horseradish, salt & pepper, baby heirloom tomatoes, and Worcestershire sauce to a shaker and concocted his mixture. By adding the infamous Belvedere Vodka, it sealed the deal in being the best damn bloody Mary I'd ever had. The fact that my mother ordered two more was triumphant.

After this experience I was damn and determined to find a place locally (Long Beach, Ca) that offered the same experience in Bloody Mary drinking. My man-friend and I tried Christy's on Broadway for lunch and ordered their Spicy Jalapeño Bloody Mary. Not only did the dumb-dumb bartender add WAAAYY too much vodka, they over salted the mix with celery salt to the point that it was un-drinkable. Sadly, we walked away feeling ashamed that we tried to replace Morel's amazing Bloody Mary experience. It truly ruined the beverage for me. This leaves me with only one option...we must go back!

Christy's attempt at a Bloody Mary. Although the celery filled with cream cheese was splendid, the drink was less than desirable! 

"Ben" at Morel's making the orgasmic Bloody Mary from his cart of goodies