Put some COFFEE in my bean!

For most Americans, coffee has become a daily staple in their every day routine. Whether it's the smell, taste, or caffeine fix you desire, coffee seems to curb the angry edge that most people get throughout the day. For me, coffee provides that rumbly-bumbly in my tummy that usually evolves into a nice little "drop off"; not always, but I always keep my hopes up.

Coffee Bean, Pete's, Portfolio, 7-11, Roasters, and Starbucks...and more Starbucks...and even more Starbucks are all within 2 blocks of my house. So which one is bound to blow my effin sox off?

We'll see...

Besides the fact that I can't seem to pick my nose without seeing a god damn Starbucks, they are pretty convenient and offer a consistent menu. Until recently, there didn't seem to be any difference in the coffee from Starbucks to Starbucks, but man was I wrong. Just on 2nd street alone, there are 2 Starbucks, and they could't be more different. Alberto at the East 2nd Starbucks delivers fast service. He's well aware that the prima-mommies of Belmont Shore need their fix or they aren't going to graciously toss in their fifteen cents into the tip jar. Where as Alberto is gung-ho on getting his jo out in a timely manner, Christian at the West 2nd Starbucks is all about the chit-chat. I used to think he was hitting on me (it doesn't help that he consistently stares at my breasts), but then I realized he talks to all his patrons in such a friendly way. Because Christian's his easy-going attitude, I do believe that his Carmel Macchiato comes out better then the one from Alberto.

Moving on.

The morning after the bottle...

                                       

                    

  We've all done it.

Started a new diet...created a rigorous workout routine...and then royally fucked it up by drinking a bottle of delicious red wine. 

I consumed 700 calories in just one bottle of wine last night.

I'm overcome with bloating, the runs, and purple teeth. 

With a little bit of Midol, toilet paper, and whitening toothpaste, I can fix these problems...but what am I to do about all those extra calories? 

                                          I'll tell you what I did. 

My mother always told me "Nicole, you can't floss away 6 months of plaque the night before going to the dentist".  I CALL BULLSHIT! Like hell I can! Just like I'm going to burn off all 700 calories of wine I engulfed by rigorously exercising the morning after. 

The Plan: To burn at least 1/2 of the calories I consumed the night before to rid myself of guilt. 

Step #1: Jumping Rope 

First off, it's important to know that I'm a master jump-roper. Its one of my hobbies and I happen to enjoy it (at least until the boob job). Now it's just awkward.   Any who...

Making sure your jump rope is the correct length is key. Most people don't know that a jump rope is supposed to fit right under your armpits when standing on it. 

Creating a routine like, apart/together, side to side, front to back, left/right foot, double jumps, and cross overs, will alleviate boredom and keep you focused. 

I did these maneuvers for a little over 15 minutes. I had to stop a few times to skip some songs on my Pandora station, but for the most part, it was consistent jumping. 

15-20 mins of Jump Rope: Close to 300 calories

Step #2: A mild run

I hate running. I actually despise it. For a person with a moderate case of A.D.D, its mentally painful to jog for long periods at a time. I'd be lying to myself if I denied it's benefits and I ultimately feel much better by doing it. 

I mapped out a mile and forced myself to jog/run the entire thing. 

One mile run:  Around 150 calories (depending on intensity)

Step #3: Abs 

After sweating my f'n ass off, I decided to attack my spare tire. Even though I've convinced myself that I'm not fat, I'm just permanently swollen, it's still nice to 'feel the burn' when doing these moves. I'm not a numbers person, so I do my exercises for time. 

-30 seconds of "v" ups

-30 seconds of tuck ups

-30 seconds of fluttering (up on my elbows)

-30 seconds of hip lifts

-30 seconds of side crunches (left/right)

-30 seconds of "Mike Tyson's" 

*Repeat 3 times

9 minutes of abs:  Who gives a shit how many calories it burned...I got rid of my gas; so therefor it's a priceless exercise in my opinion. 

This is not a workout routine, nor am I giving you my "expert" advice on how to get in shape (lord knows I'm no physical specimen). This is just a simple way to rid yourself of the guilt you earned by drinking yourself into an oblivion the night before. Enjoy!